“So this Dark Lord of yours,” said Melissa.
“Mm?” said Carl.
“Does he have a name?”
“Yes, but it can’t be spoken to outsiders. Words have power, as evidenced every time one of us casts a spell with a verbal component. The name of my Dread Dark Lord carries similar power. It would be very dangerous to utter it within earshot of the uninitiated.”
“Or is that just one of those things, like a religious prohibition, or something, intended to promote secrecy and mystery? Does the word actually have that power, or is it just something they teach you?”
“Oh, it has power. Some initiates in fact use that power against others. They tend not to last long. I hope to be more… subtle than them.”
“Subtle,” said Melissa.
“Yes,” said Carl.
“You’ve arrived at the ruined temple,” I said. “To be honest there’s not much here. Some worn foundation stones. What looks like the remnants of an ancient graveyard. But you quickly find an overgrown cave, which contains steps down to an old stone door. Whatever room the door opens into would be about a single storey below ground level.”
“Do we really need to be here?” asked Carl. “Or is this just a side quest?”
“It’s not the best lead,” said Mike.
“What do we know about the place?” asked Melissa.
“Not much,” I said. “The place has always been vaguely associated with human sacrifice, though no one seems to know when, or who was doing the sacrificing, or who was being sacrificed.”
“Okay, now you’ve got my attention. That’s why we’re here,” said Carl.
“Let’s do this,” said Melissa. “Is the door trapped?”
“Roll investigation,” I reply.
“Nine,” she said.
“The door does not appear to be trapped,” I said.
“Does it open toward me or away from me?”
“Toward you. There seems to be a ring that you can pull. You’ll have to spend some effort clearing away the debris before you can actually open it.”
“A lot of debris, is there?” asked Mike.
“Yes,” I replied.
“So no-one’s opened this door in years. He’s not here. We’ve still got the quarry and something called the crystal grotto to check. Let’s go,” he said.
“Aren’t you even curious?” asked Melissa.
“Not really,” said Mike.
“What about the other guy, Mike? Is he curious?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s curious.”
“That’s three votes against one,” said Melissa. “Help me clear this.”
“Okay,” grumbled Mike.
“You can get so far just by claiming to be democratic?” asked Carl. “Interesting. I might have to look further into this democracy thing,”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” said Mike.
“So you get the door cleared, and you can quite easily haul it open. The stairs come out into what appears to be originally a basement to the ruined church on the hill above. There are a couple of broken desks and tables, but that’s it. There’s a door at one end that leads to a stairwell.”
“Stairs leading up?” asked Mike.
“Up is blocked, but they lead down.”
“Down? Okay,” said Carl.
“I scout it out first,” said Melissa. “I check for traps and stuff and see where the stairway leads to.”
“There are no traps,” I said. “Can you roll stealth?”
“Thirteen,” she said.
“Okay. The stairway leads down to an underground chamber. The doorway from the stairwell to the chamber is manufactured, but the rest of the chamber appears to be natural cave. It is brilliantly lit from above by what appears to be a stained glass window, which has fallen over the sinkhole that leads to the surface. You probably walked over it earlier without realising it.”
“Okay,” said Melissa.
“You also see, and are immediately seen by, three humanoid figures, like walking corpses. I’m going to need you all to roll initiative.”
“Five,” said Carl.
“Fourteen,” said Mike.
“Twenty-two,” said Melissa.
“Woah,” I said. “You get a shot off.”
“I cast hunter’s mark on the nearest one, and then I shoot it. Fourteen,” she said.
“That’s good enough to hit,” I said. “Roll damage.”
“Ten,” she said.
“That’s a good hit, straight in the neck, but it’s still walking towards you.”
“And I call out, a little help down here please!”
“Mike, you hear her. What are you doing?” I asked.
“I draw my battleaxe, rage, and head to town.”
“Not the sword?”
“No. I don’t trust that thing.”
“Okay.”
“I roll a seventeen for my first attack and a twelve for my second,” he said.
“Two good hits. Both on the same one?”
“Yes. I want that thing down. Sixteen slashing damage,” he said.
“Okay.” I said. “A flash passes in front of Mike’s eyes, and when it passes, it’s like he’s a different person. He hurls his battleaxe around and buries it deep into one of the zombies with a rage-filled battlecry. The zombie goes down like a sack of potatoes. The other two lurch forward and attack, one on each. But they both miss. Carl?”
“The Dark Lord’s power protects me! I cry,” he said. “I cast shield of faith and wade into the fray with my mace. Fifteen to hit, um, the one attacking Melissa. Four damage.”
“Okay, it’s still up, despite having an arrow through its neck and a pinecone-shaped indentation in its skull from your mace. Melissa, you’re up,” I said.
“That one in front of me is still hunter’s marked, right?”
“Right,” I said. “But he’s too close to hit with your longbow. You’d be at disadvantage.”
“I guess I’ll hit him with my short sword then. Eleven.”
“That still hits.”
“Six damage.”
“Okay, he goes down. Mike?”
“There’s just one left?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“Seven and twelve. I guess the second one hits?”
“Yes,” I said. “Roll damage.”
“Ten,” he said.
“You land it one good solid hit, but it’s still up. It has a go at you, you take seven bludgeoning damage. Carl?”
“Yes?”
“You look down and you see that the zombie that Melissa just decapitated is still lurching around on the ground and trying to grab you. You take three bludgeoning damage.”
“Argh!” said Carl. “Is it my turn?”
“It is,” I said.
“I smash the damn thing with my mace! Sixteen. I assume that’s a hit. Eight damage.”
“Okay, it looks like you got it this time.”
“Good.”
“Melissa?” I asked.
“I’m going to shoot the one that’s attacking Mike. Or maybe I’ll just shoot the darkness instead. Next!”
“You hear the sounds of smashing glass as your arrow snakes off into the darkness beyond.” I said. “Mike!”
“I hit it again,” said Mike. “Fourteen and twelve.”
“Both good hits.”
“Nineteen damage!” he said.
“Yeah, you totally dismember that thing. Boy, does that feel good,” I said.
“Yeah!” said Mike.
“No, I mean it feels really good.”
“Ah,” said Mike.
“Carl?”
“Yes,” said Carl.
“You feel a sharp pain around your calves and ankles. The dead zombie just raked you for another two damage.”
“Ow! I hit it again. Seven!”
“You missed! Melissa!”
“I shoot it. Eight points of damage.”
“Okay, it’s dead. Again.”
“I wait,” said Carl, “with my mace ready to smash it again.”
“It takes a couple of times, but yeah, you manage to smash it so that it doesn’t move again.”
“Okay, what else is down here?”
“There’s a human,” I said.
“Oh!” said Mike. “Who is it?”
“He looks like a feeble old wizard, dressed in filthy rags that might once have been purple and carrying a rotten staff which he points at you in terror. Get back! he cries. Get back, or I’ll turn you into… into… he looks around. Zombies! I’ll turn you into zombies.”
“I walk up to him and take the staff out of his hand,” said Carl. “Do you want me to roll intimidate?”
“No,” I said. “The staff crumbles the moment you release it from his grip. Melissa, you find his work shop while looking for your lost arrow. He definitely makes magical items here. There’s a box of random items stacked up and ready to go. There’s a hat, and a sword, and a carpenter’s hammer, and a single shoe. Other stuff. There are bottles of glowing reagents on shelves, one of which your stray arrow smashed. You get that arrow back. There are magic circles in dirt and chalk on the rough floor. That sort of thing. Mike, you find his living quarters, and the less said about that the better. All three of you notice that the entire underground cave smells vaguely of human excrement, and you can tell which corner of the cavern the smell is coming from.”
“It’s okay,” said Mike. “I’ll send someone to search the area, I say, and I get up and search the area.”
“The smelly corner,” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
“You find some tunnels and crawlways that you guess probably end up somewhere above ground, so he’s never needed to use the front door to get food or fresh water. Make a dexterity check,” I said.
“Fifteen,” he said.
“And you almost come out of it clean,” I said.
“Ugh,” he said. “Okay, he didn’t find anything, I say.”
“I expect this weird old guy’s babbling something by now,” said Carl. “What’s he saying?”
“He sure is babbling. He’s babbling something about getting revenge, and destroying you, and destroying your friends, and destroying the entire world. He uses the word destroying a lot. Make a religion check.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said. “Nat 20! With my bonus that’s twenty five, but nat 20!”
“Wow,” I said. “Okay, something about what he’s saying is touching a very dark note in your knowledge.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said.
“Some of the darkest teachings of your cult tell of a god so black and destructive that all the other gods banded together to imprison it, and the gods kept all knowledge of it from entering the universe as they created it. How much of this do you want me to go into? I’ve got quite a bit of detail here, and with a nat 20 you’re entitled to all of it.”
“Okay, let’s do this. Lay it all out,” said Carl.
“Okay. Not all knowledge of the ancient god of destruction was kept from this reality. You are aware that your god is only recently a god, right?”
“Yes, he stole his godhood from another evil god he murdered, or something.”
“Right. That god knew something.”
“Oh, okay. So it’s basically because of my cult that knowledge of this dark god’s existence leaked into the world.”
“Well, yeah, but you’re not responsible for it," I said, "nor do you control it. You know how once information leaks, it’s impossible to suppress. Your god was just the leaking point. But he’s also the only reason you know about it, because the cult of the imprisoned god works entirely in secret, usually solitary like this guy. But sometimes cultists band together and when that happens, they might be able to get together enough power to wholly or partially break their god out of its extradimensional prison.”
“And when that happens, it will just start destroying everything. No-one will be able to stop it,” said Carl.
“Not even the gods,” I agreed.
“I turn around and smash this weird old guy’s head in with my mace.”
“Okay, the last thing he babbles is we are everywh… and you splash his brains all across the wall. Mike, can you make a Charisma save please?”
“A what? Okay. Twelve.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“Well, seeing your ally suddenly splash this guy’s head into a wall is kind of the thing that the other guy sees. You blacked out for a moment there.”
“Oh, so I didn’t see him do that?”
“Only the aftermath.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Sorry about that,” said Carl, “but this just became a whole lot more serious.”
“You didn’t have to kill him,” said Melissa.
“I did,” said Carl. “I just want to own the universe. He and his kind want to destroy it. And they have their very own chained god that’s going to do it for them.”
“Although,” I say, “It would be more accurate to say that the chained god is able to extend itself far enough into the universe from its imprisonment to influence individuals through their dreams, and seeks to channel enough power through those individuals to free itself.”
“Sounds dangerous,” said Mike.
“Sounds end-of-the-world-y,” said Melissa.
“Okay, so what do we need to do to stop it?” asked Mike.
“Well, here we have a slight religious problem,” said Carl. “We’ll have to go over the situation in detail later, but as you know I am lawful evil, and my cult has laws. Many of them. One of them is that initiates are not permitted to allow knowledge of the cult’s existence to leak outside the cult. And I’m not only leaking knowledge of the cult, but of one of the cult’s most deeply-contained secrets.”
“So we would have to become initiates of your cult. We would literally have to join your cult.” said Melissa.
“You’re already initiated in all but name anyway. As in, the last thing required to confirm your initiation would be for you to perform a human sacrifice and learn the Dark God’s name.”
“Ah, no,” she said. “Not ready for that yet.”
“There aren’t many other options. I could simply ensure that no-one other than me leaves this basement alive.”
“So you could tell us,” said Mike, “but then you’d have to kill us.”
“Essentially. But the laws of my religion are quite complex and there are loopholes that we can exploit. It’s all in how we define what is a member of a cult. Initiates are members, of course, but there are circumstances where non-Initiates can also be considered members.”
“Can you give us, like, associate membership?”
“I’m afraid not. There is only one circumstance under which knowledge of the cult’s existence is permitted to those who are not technically members. You can be my slaves. You cease to be a person, become property, and you can no longer be the bearer of information.”
“What? No way,” said Melissa.
“Sure,” said Mike.
“What?” asked Melissa.
“Well, we’re only technically his slaves, right? We’re only saying we are in order to conform to his religious law. I mean he doesn’t literally own us,” said Mike. “Does he?”
Carl looked at him. “Are you saying that I don’t already own you? Must I purchase you from yourself?”
“Can you do that?”
“Of course I can. Arrangements like this are the origin of the idea of people selling their souls to the devil. How much?”
“I am not selling my soul to you,” he said.
“How about the other guy?” asked Carl.
“The other guy really wants to,” I said. “Imagine how much stronger you’d be with his help. How much blood you could shed in his name.”
“Mike, no,” said Melissa.
“I’m not going to!” said Mike. “Look, I’ll work with you if you’re going to try and prevent the end of the world. But I’m not selling my soul to you, and I won’t be your slave.”
“I can grant you a stipend. This is a regular payment in gold or whatever treasure we agree is an acceptable substitute.”
“So, like a salary." he said. "I would be your employee.”
“The technical term is favoured slave, but you can call it what you like.”
“Employee,” said Mike.
“Okay, let’s call it that. I’m your boss. You can refer to me as boss.”
“Okay, boss.”
“And as promised, here’s your first stipend, I say, and I hand him ten gold pieces.”
“Only ten?” asked Mike.
“You need to do something in order to get promoted,” said Carl.
“What?”
“I’ll let you know,” said Carl. "He turns to Melissa.”
“I’ll take the stipend,” she said. “I really want to prevent the end of the world if I can. And the only way I can do that is by working with you. You seem to be, coincidentally, the one person on the planet with enough knowledge of the situation to have a hope of being able to prevent it. If that means I’m your employee, I can live with that.”
“Excellent. I’m making you my Vice President of Treasury, and I hand you your first stipend of fifteen gold.”
“Fifteen?” asked Mike.
“Quiet, Vice President of Hitting Things! We need to formulate a plan! Can we go back to the death house?”
“Sure,” I said.
“I want to make contact with the village of adventurers again,” said Melissa.
“Okay, you can do that,” said Carl. “Meet us back at the death house.”
“So Melissa, after a few days in the wilderness during which you can travel a lot faster because you’re on your own, you get to the village of adventurers. They’re expecting you. They appear to have hired some help – a half orc who seems to be repairing fences and shoring up defensive structures.”
“I tell them everything,” said Melissa. “All about the imprisoned god, and about Carl and how he knows about it, and the employee arrangement – everything.”
“Okay. Even the priest hasn’t heard of the imprisoned god. He says it sounds like myth, but he’ll check.”
“I just want them to be a backup for the knowledge if anything happens to me.”
“They’ll provide whatever help they can.”
“Good," I say. “Okay Carl, what do you do when you arrive back at the village?”
“Can I arrive at night? Really late at night when no-one’s around?”
“Sure,” I said. “Want to roll stealth?”
“Not much point,” he said. “Does anyone see us?”
“You don’t think so.”
“Okay, I go straight to the basement. Is the body still there?”
“No,” I said.
“Okay, then someone's removed it. We probably should keep our presence here a secret. All activities and especially all lights are confined to the basement.”
“Yes boss,” said Mike.
“Melissa, you arrive the following morning. There are a few people up and about,” I said.
“Can I roll stealth?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Seven,” she said.
“You’re definitely seen sneaking into the death house.”
“Oh great,” said Carl. "How long does it take before they send a delegation?”
“How long do you wait for it?” I asked.
“I’d like to stay here for a few days. If they know we’re here and still don’t react to our presence, that’s okay.”
“They don’t seem to,” I said. “You can set up a base here. Everybody level up.”
“Yay!” said Mike.